Let your desires defeat your flaws! 

Hello Star Girls!! 

I’m starting my journey slowly but surely and I’m getting excited about it! In fact, my excitement has carried me these past couple of days. It has kept me from dwelling, being upset, resentful, and down right angry. (I had some personal things come up). 

But how could I be angry when I know what God has promised me? I’m going to be a leader, a wife, and a mother. How could I be angry at someone? I can’t. 

So today was a rough day at the office, mainly because of mistake that I made. I was in the process of beating myself up and I heard myself ask a question I have asked before (I talk to myself by the way… doesn’t everyone?!). Why me? Why don’t I just have myself together? Why do I struggle with these simple things? Why do I keep messing this up? 

I remember being 12yrs old attempting to work out to a VHS tape and getting so frustrated with myself that I had to workout so hard to be small when most of my friends just naturally looked that way. 

“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and it looks like work.”

I made a choice at an early age that I wanted to make a name for myself and I wanted to look the way I wanted to look and that choice made a big difference in my life. I’m not sure I would be the woman I am today without the choices of that 12 year old little girl. 

I always wanted more for myself. So the question isn’t, Why me? It’s – Why not me?! 

The voice I heard back; I’ll attribute to the Holy Spirit was that you don’t have to do this… you don’t have to hold yourself accountable. You don’t have to be responsible. You don’t have to work hard but you also don’t have to be a leader or a wife or a good mother. 

There are people who never go beyond right where they are today. We all know them; that’s not who I want to be. 

It’s uncomfortable at times that the person I want to be isn’t who I am today and I struggle to keep my self-esteem high even though I know that. I try to remind myself that I’m working towards my goals and the person I am today is the reason why the person I will be in the future is possible. Just like I wouldn’t be here today if my 12 year old self didn’t want to be popular lol. 

You have to acknowledge your flaws but know that on your way to crushing your goals you’re going to break those bad habits and build new one. I’ve heard many times the reward for reaching your goals is the person you become not the actual thing you acquire. 

The best thing I can say is don’t get discouraged Star Girl, you can do it! 

Love, 

Charisma Nicole ❤

How to hear your Holy Spirit

Hello Star Girls, 

This is a special post. I understand some people reading may be a different religion so this may not apply to them. I also understand that you may not have accepted the Lord as your savior at this point in your life. 

I also know there are Star Girls out there that have accepted Christ but they never experienced hearing their Holy Spirit but you are praying for guidance. I can only share my experience and I’m not expert but I hope this helps. 

My pastor talked about quieting down so that you can hear him and it will be clear. He compared it to when you’re talking on the phone and your signal keeps dropping. You can’t communicate like that. I think about static on a radio you can’t hear anything with a messed up signal. I think someone told me that. At any rate… that’s what I use to understand the Holy Spirit God gave to me. 

I had to quiet down my life. I got rid of social media – instagram, facebook, Snapchat. I told you guys about my facebook, now I only have 50 friends lol I don’t have internet or cable in my home. This wasn’t by choice 😂 I couldn’t afford it, but now my life is so peaceful that I rather keep it that way. I read and think through things which helps me. 

It’s gotten to the point that he literally guides my thoughts. I meditate on the things he wants me to think about and he shows me things. 

I believe one of the things that halts many people’s ability to hear is because they don’t like what they hear. I hear that I need to practice abstinence, I’m being selfish, and I need to get my act together. Because I feel God’s love wash over me I don’t end up feeling guilty but I do understand I need to accept hard facts and do what I can to change some things. 

I believe people either 1. Don’t want to accept hard facts 2. End up feeling condemned and depressed 3. Let their pride/ego get in the way 4. Don’t want to accept responsibility for what your being told to do. If any of that applies to you then you can’t receive the guidance, provisions, and favor of the Holy Spirit because your blocking his ability to speak to you. 

“Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but whoever hates correction is foolish.” 

Proverbs 12:1

The roller coaster! 

Hello Star Girls,
It’s that time of year again to get your goals going! I have some pretty extensive 2017 goals. I feel like I didn’t get much done this year besides learning a ton, maturing, and drawing closer to God. Overall it was a good year! I got a new car, bought furniture, and I got a 20,000 raise not based off of my own merit. God is good! So now it’s time to move on. 

I have always struggled with my weight; along with millions of others in this country. I think there is several reasons why this is. I am an emotional eater and I enjoy the actual act of eating. I like comfort foods – anything with butter, cheese, bread, potatoes, pasta, ice cream, and chocolate. When I’m having a bad day I just want to eat. 

One thing I’m so thankful for is my faith because it has given me a peace and confidence in myself that I have never had. I confess to you today no matter what happens moving forward it is going to be okay. I realize that I do get depressed, anxious, scared etc. and it causes me to just withdraw from the world and eat myself into 20+ extra lbs. 

The greatest thing I could do for my body is get my mind together – to be mentally strong. I can’t control what hardships I will face I can only control how I react to them. I know that’s super cliche’ but that’s because it’s true. If because I broke up with my bf I eat myself to death wth is that going to do? It’s not that serious. 

I’m learning to accept my feelings. I may be sad, scared, worried etc. but that’s okay. It’s helped me to look at the bigger picture. Where I started, where I am today, and how much further I have to go. Don’t look at as defeat! There’s so much more joy to come ❤ My biggest challenge with my weight is my mind & I’m believing in God to help me develop a stronger mindset and an optimistic view of challenges that life may bring. 

Love, 

Charisma Nicole

What I learned about having – Confidence! 

Good morning Star Girls, 

Right now in church and in life I’m learning to become the master of my thoughts and feelings. I believe that confidence isn’t some unshaken thing that some people have and some people don’t. I believe that we can obviously gain confidence and lose confidence depending on our current situation & who we are around. 

I’m learning that confidence has to be practiced. There’s all these times in life that you may not feel confident; like although I hate speaking in front of people I’m actually pretty good at it. When I have to do it I get this sensation to run away and avoid it even though I’m perfectly capable of doing it. That’s insecurity trying to rear it’s ugly head. For me it’s very uncomfortable to share things about myself and I get really insecure that people will judge me after I share… and guess what they probably will but do I stop sharing? Absolutely not. 

I just recently deleted all my social media and started a new facebook with 47 friends on it. When I post a picture I get like 5 likes LOL Back in the day if my picture got five likes I would probably roll over in my grave 😂😂😂 it’s these strange times when I experience insecurities but you gain confidence when you push through it. 

Do you remember finally getting to the 8th grade now you’re the shit! Next thing you know you are an insignificant freshman again. Then you get to be a senior – you’re the shit again! But then you’re back to insignificant freshman in college. But soon enough you’ll be back on top. I left a high from my senior year in college that I can never recreate then I started a job and I was insignificant AGAIN!!!!! 😂 but what I learned is; you set your significance. Not a grade level, job performance, likes on a picture etc. can change your value even if other people don’t acknowledge it. 

I just finished a book that talks about how to win and how to lose. It’s all about your attitude. Have a good attitude when you’re up of being humble and gracious and have a good attitude when you’re down of being humble and gracious. I think one of the reasons this whole process has been hard for me was because when I was up I wasn’t humble or gracious. I was a selfish little thing who believed that I was destine for super-stardom 😂. So imagine the horror when I realized I was going to stay in my town and start a professional career. Oh the horror! 

The most prideful and egotistical people really are insecure and scared. 

Main point; when you feel that feeling from insecurity press forward anyway and you’ll gain a confidence that you’ve never had and push forward to new challenges that bring more of that uncomfortable feeling but because you’ve beaten that beast before you know that you can completely destroy him again! 

Love, 

Charisma Nicole 

Leader in training! 

Hello Star Girls, 

Cheers to the freakin’ weekend! I hope you have big plans and you’re keeping it safe. Don’t do anything that I wouldn’t do 😉 lol 

I realize that there is no way that I can really lead you ladies, who are Star Girls and don’t even know it yet, until I first fill my glass up. I got this vision of Black Girls Like Me from God in 2014 and I just ran with it but I wasn’t ready. He still let me do it though until I got tired and worn out. You know how you let a child run around until they get tired and go to bed? I’m the daughter of the most high God and I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off for a year until I couldn’t run anymore. 

Now I understand that God has given me the vision and the tools to do it but my tools have to be sharpened. I don’t yet have the knowledge or experience to lead you ladies. I haven’t developed my character enough to lead you to where we’re going – but I will not give up! I will training, I will read, I will keep trying until God tells me I’m ready. 

Until that point, I’ll keep writing post and sharing things with you ladies and anything you need I am here for you. 

My email where you can contact me is blackgirlslikeme@gmail.com feel free to send me an email if you need to talk or ask a question. 😊

It’s all FAKE! 

Hello Star Girls, 

I hope your having a great day! It’s one of those days for me 😔 it’s nasty out; no sun in sight. 

I’ve been waiting to share this with you. I know it’s only going to get worse as time progresses with the country’s new leadership. 

I think it’s very important to understand that there is an ocean of websites that look legit but there are people behind that screen just making stuff up to get views.”click bait”.  It’s important to understand that people are taking selfies with lighting kits they bought off Amazon & using professional grade cameras. There are people being paid to advertise products like “Oct Favs” videos on YouTube. It’s alllllllllll fake! 


The reason why I feel the need to share this is because my Star Girls are looking up to gurus for answers and they are using your following as a way to make money and sell you products they may not even really use. It’s annoying. You’re trying to figure out why your selfies aren’t looking as crisp? It’s because your using a iPhone instead of a Canon. 

It’s fake ladies. 

Love, 

Charisma Nicole 

One of my biggest fears is losing my mojo! 

I’m about to go to sleep Star Girls, I know I’m going to pay in the morning! 

As I’m gearing up for grind season; I thought about all my other grind seasons. We all have them (I hope). I’ve always been like this which gives me a lot of comfort and encouragement. I know I can do this! I have no doubts. 

*Story Time* I’ve been grinding since I was in the 7th grade 😂 So, during that time in my life I started liking boys and I wanted to be one of the popular girls and that’s what I set out to do. During the summer before my 8th grade year, I worked out and wore braids the whole summer to grow my hair out. I came back to school killing them! 

I’ve learned over the years that although it really does sound cliche – I’ve experienced it for years; nothing you can acquire is going to make you feel better. That’s why I heavily rely on God for peace and joy. Losing weight, getting a six pack, growing out your hair, plastic surgery, a new car, or a new man, nicer clothes etc. None of those things change who you are and they won’t make you feel any different. I tried it for 10 years. 

There’s nothing wrong with having goals; I have plenty but now my goals stem from a place where I’m satisfied with myself and I want to continue moving forward vs not liking yourself and trying to “fix” whatever you think is wrong. The only real fix is the thoughts you have about yourself. 

Now this issue about my mojo honey! I haven’t dated for about a year or more because I was already dating someone. We hit a stale patch; I tried to fix it but now I feel like I need to move on.. I am the daughter of the Most high God. I am valuable & I don’t have time to wait. 

But dating isn’t something you just go out and do. Many times you want to just be yourself and people should like you for you right? Well unfortunately dating doesn’t work like that. That’s where the mojo comes in. I would like to just be friends with someone but I DEFINITELY don’t want to end up the “sister” 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳 OMG I died just thinking about that LOL. That has never happen to me and it never will! I am too fine for that boo. (I’m literally having a mini anxiety attack). 

The point honey is I have to go find my mojo fast! Can you imagine a guy you like thinking of you as a sister ☠️☠️☠️ Girl bye! 

Okay, I have to go to bed! 

Love you Star Girl, 

Charisma Nicole