Hello Star Girls!!
I’m starting my journey slowly but surely and I’m getting excited about it! In fact, my excitement has carried me these past couple of days. It has kept me from dwelling, being upset, resentful, and down right angry. (I had some personal things come up).
But how could I be angry when I know what God has promised me? I’m going to be a leader, a wife, and a mother. How could I be angry at someone? I can’t.
So today was a rough day at the office, mainly because of mistake that I made. I was in the process of beating myself up and I heard myself ask a question I have asked before (I talk to myself by the way… doesn’t everyone?!). Why me? Why don’t I just have myself together? Why do I struggle with these simple things? Why do I keep messing this up?
I remember being 12yrs old attempting to work out to a VHS tape and getting so frustrated with myself that I had to workout so hard to be small when most of my friends just naturally looked that way.
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and it looks like work.”
I made a choice at an early age that I wanted to make a name for myself and I wanted to look the way I wanted to look and that choice made a big difference in my life. I’m not sure I would be the woman I am today without the choices of that 12 year old little girl.
I always wanted more for myself. So the question isn’t, Why me? It’s – Why not me?!
The voice I heard back; I’ll attribute to the Holy Spirit was that you don’t have to do this… you don’t have to hold yourself accountable. You don’t have to be responsible. You don’t have to work hard but you also don’t have to be a leader or a wife or a good mother.
There are people who never go beyond right where they are today. We all know them; that’s not who I want to be.
It’s uncomfortable at times that the person I want to be isn’t who I am today and I struggle to keep my self-esteem high even though I know that. I try to remind myself that I’m working towards my goals and the person I am today is the reason why the person I will be in the future is possible. Just like I wouldn’t be here today if my 12 year old self didn’t want to be popular lol.
You have to acknowledge your flaws but know that on your way to crushing your goals you’re going to break those bad habits and build new one. I’ve heard many times the reward for reaching your goals is the person you become not the actual thing you acquire.
The best thing I can say is don’t get discouraged Star Girl, you can do it!
Charisma Nicole ❤